just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
