at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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