bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
being pregnant is like rehab
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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