I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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