And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
