Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
