I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
