I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
