So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
