My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
