I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
