I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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