miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I stole a fireplace last night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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