I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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