i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
