My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I want a musical about memes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
