he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
