She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
