dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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