Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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