I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
