ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
