I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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