he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
