Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
