And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
