Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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