Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
