Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
