Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
