She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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