He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
