If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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