slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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