Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
