Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
