Pregnant stripper...not hot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
