I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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