She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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