You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
