she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
