I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
