Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
