just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a search helicopter?!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
