I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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