Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
