Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
