I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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