He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
