Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
