is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
