And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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